As we go through life seeking answers and solutions to lives problems, issues, decisions etc, sometimes we go ahead without any spiritual guidance at all as to what we should do. Then push comes to shove and those same situations come back to bite us in the butt because we didn't seek the guidance that was necessary to steer us clear from some life altering decisions. Solomon the wisest man who ever lived has a lot to say about seeking guidance in Proverbs. It is a place to look for instructions on godly wisdom. This guidance is applicable to life and daily living, and this same guidance comes through wisdom.
Wisdom is not a trait we are born with actually. It is an ingredient that we acquire as we go through life's experiences. Our wisdom really manifest itself in our actions. The saying "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me," is a perfect example of how we acquire wisdom over time. In essence we can't keep doing the same things and expect different results. Little children do that and when things don't work for them they throw tantrums. But as they get older the behavior expectation becomes different because they are growing up and that is what is expected. Unless they are medically retarded then we should expect anything from them sympathetically. The same goes for us as adults. The older we get and the more things we go through in life, the expectation is that we 'grow' through them and act age appropriately. That is the process of maturity.
Now wisdom doesn't work by itself, it works with understanding and knowledge; the ability to understand and the ability to know. These factors all work together to help us maneuver through life. But most importantly wisdom is embedded in fearing the Almighty, that's what makes us wise, knowing that God is God. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, Solomon says. So how do we exhibit wisdom in life when we have situations to deal with in life because at the end of the day, life is about choices and good decision making. It doesn't matter what we have to face. Everything is a choice or a decision. Funny enough both words do not mean the same thing.
The result of a decision is a choice. This does seem complicated in a way but it isn't because a decision is when you have to choose something. A choice involves the mental process of judging and a decision is also the mental process of selecting your course of action resulting in your choice. Either process involves some kind of thinking through and making up one's mind. We are all created with that will to choose. God gave us that right to choose. (I know that it is His desire for us to use that right He gave us to please Him than not. But He is a patient God, He holds time and eternity in His hands. He can wait us out.) So when we have to decide or choose and we seek spiritual guidance the answer maybe varying. They will obviously be YES, NO or WAIT.
When God's answer is YES, He aligns situations in such a way that the answer will be forthcoming and bears witness to what He is doing or about to do. Everything falls into place and then we know it's time to move forward as He leads the way because He's already set things in motion. In this regard, if He is leading the pack then we have to flow with Him on His pace and know that His yes does mean yes no matter what. Even if there are glitches, things are already in motion and the lesson of wisdom is still being taught. When God's answer is NO, that definitive no is followed by Him shutting everything down from the jump. Nothing moves! He doesn't want it to move and this is where our wisdom or lack thereof comes in. If we are wise through our experience we'll flow with Him. If we're not, then the end results will prove itself. Our maturity level is being tested and we can act accordingly. If not, we can act like a kid and have it our way.
But here is where it gets tricky, when God says WAIT. This is a moment in our lives when we take a pause break. We have to during this time, pull out all the stops in our wisdom clause to know how to wait. Waiting is a process of inactivity but in that period of time we can learn a few things. It is the prime opportunity to learn a thing or two about ourselves and reassess; to 'grow up' a little bit more. In the process of 'growing through' our waiting period we may find that we are changing to fit our present situation and we can readily accept where we are, and accept the NO as NO! NO means that, what we think we want, may not be what we really need. The wait answer is more beneficial to us. It is not so much God holding back His blessings from us. He is giving us time to look ahead with Him to see what He sees. It is in that process of inactivity that we can take the blinders off, taking the mask off even, break down if we have to but let the process take its course. For during the waiting process things isn't always what they seem, things also don't look the same in Winter as it does in the Spring. Waiting gives us time to make assessments, backing away from the situation and looking at it from all angles. (At least that's what we should be doing.) When something is too close to the eyes we can't see too well.
After we've waited during the process, it has to end because seasons change; nothing last forever. The seasons are matriculated into life. 'Wait' may help us to cut our losses, saving us years of heartaches and pain. When the waiting is over and it's all said and done, just maybe we will see and hopefully we will learn the lesson after looking back; that NO was really the answer we needed at that point in our life but it came while we learned to accept wait as an answer.
Sisterly
Monday, June 28, 2010
Monday, June 21, 2010
Everything happens for a reason!!!
I remember hearing this saying a lot when I was growing up. I also remember sharing it with a friend of mine as a young adult who scoffed at the saying because to her it meant a superstitious myth. Well I wasn't prepared to make her agree with me but I figured that maybe because I had a spiritual upbringing and she didn't, it was easier for me to believe this phrase without questioning its depth. But the irony of this phrase is that you don't have to have a spiritual upbringing to believe its meaning. You just have to live a little longer and this phrase will undoubtedly make you a believer.
Take the people for example on 9/11 who missed their train, got stuck in traffic, one man stopped to get Dr Scholl's for his new shoes, they were hurting his feet or like my very close friend who took the day off because it was her birthday; her building was the last to fall. We can all interpret this phrase however we want based on whatever we choose, " the universe speaks" or "God is in control," whichever works. But I tend to think that these two interpretations co-relate and the clarification is there to prove it. God is in control simply because of His omniscient atrribute. He is here, there and everywhere all at the same time. This may seem like a mystery as to how this could be possible but if we really think about it God really is everywhere and no one should really need any convincing. God's Spirit is in all of us, that is what keeps us alive. The only time He is not with us is when His Spirit leaves our bodies, then we are dead. So based on that simple truth we are connected to God even if we don't want to admit it, we still are because we are human.
The connection between this phrase and God's control of the world and everything in it is really seen in how we are prompted to do or not to do something however simple. Funny thing is these promptings are always God's way of running interference in our daily lives to protect us from ourselves or stuff from happening to us with the help of angelic beings. It may sound like mystical mumbo jumbo but in reality how do we explain the unexplained, like the man and his wife who are frequent flyers; he always takes the window seat. This particular trip she slips into the window seat before he could. Unfortunately there was a plane crash with survivors, one of which he was. She was flown from the window and didn't make it.
Sometimes we can't explain some things that happen in life so we chock it up as a part of life. Other times we may after looking back, see how stuff happens when they happen and why they happen. The word to the wise is when stuff happens that we don't understand, we just need to see them as the proverbial handwriting on the wall that we don't really need to "kick against the pricks" because the universe maybe screaming at us that God is in control and we really need to chill and let things be as they are. I have a dear family member who would still be here today if only he would have listened to the screams of the universe when different things happened that were trying to prevent him from going on that trip. Sometimes the missed appointments, the canceled date, the shifted schedule, the choice of transportation, the change of clothes (this one seems cynical I know but don't get caught wearing the wrong colors in some parts of the world), the baby's gender, the choice of mate, thought we just got settled, now we gotta move again, whatever it is, let it be because God is still in control. I believe the prayer of St Francis of Assisi one of my favorite mantra settles this little phrase, "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. " With that said, reasons known or unknown, everything happens for a reason because God is in control of the universe.
Sisterly.
Take the people for example on 9/11 who missed their train, got stuck in traffic, one man stopped to get Dr Scholl's for his new shoes, they were hurting his feet or like my very close friend who took the day off because it was her birthday; her building was the last to fall. We can all interpret this phrase however we want based on whatever we choose, " the universe speaks" or "God is in control," whichever works. But I tend to think that these two interpretations co-relate and the clarification is there to prove it. God is in control simply because of His omniscient atrribute. He is here, there and everywhere all at the same time. This may seem like a mystery as to how this could be possible but if we really think about it God really is everywhere and no one should really need any convincing. God's Spirit is in all of us, that is what keeps us alive. The only time He is not with us is when His Spirit leaves our bodies, then we are dead. So based on that simple truth we are connected to God even if we don't want to admit it, we still are because we are human.
The connection between this phrase and God's control of the world and everything in it is really seen in how we are prompted to do or not to do something however simple. Funny thing is these promptings are always God's way of running interference in our daily lives to protect us from ourselves or stuff from happening to us with the help of angelic beings. It may sound like mystical mumbo jumbo but in reality how do we explain the unexplained, like the man and his wife who are frequent flyers; he always takes the window seat. This particular trip she slips into the window seat before he could. Unfortunately there was a plane crash with survivors, one of which he was. She was flown from the window and didn't make it.
Sometimes we can't explain some things that happen in life so we chock it up as a part of life. Other times we may after looking back, see how stuff happens when they happen and why they happen. The word to the wise is when stuff happens that we don't understand, we just need to see them as the proverbial handwriting on the wall that we don't really need to "kick against the pricks" because the universe maybe screaming at us that God is in control and we really need to chill and let things be as they are. I have a dear family member who would still be here today if only he would have listened to the screams of the universe when different things happened that were trying to prevent him from going on that trip. Sometimes the missed appointments, the canceled date, the shifted schedule, the choice of transportation, the change of clothes (this one seems cynical I know but don't get caught wearing the wrong colors in some parts of the world), the baby's gender, the choice of mate, thought we just got settled, now we gotta move again, whatever it is, let it be because God is still in control. I believe the prayer of St Francis of Assisi one of my favorite mantra settles this little phrase, "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. " With that said, reasons known or unknown, everything happens for a reason because God is in control of the universe.
Sisterly.
Monday, June 14, 2010
"When life comes at you fast!"
How prepared are we to handle life's uncertainties? This is really a very challenging question for some people to answer because often times many don't really think about life's uncertainties. Then there are those who live on the other side of the spectrum. They allow life's challenges to be the focus of their existence but still are unable to handle the pressures when they come. Although they allow this state of mind to consume them, it still doesn't prepare them for when 'life comes at you fast." What this means is that we do not prepare for life's uncertainties with a negative mindset based in fear but the approach should be more living our best life while being prepared for whatever happens on any given day. The thing is when people don't live this way, it causes then to be stressed out for every and anything. They just can't handle life even the very trivial things causes them to be bent out of shape. The point being made is not that things will not affect us when we are faced with them but how we let them affect and impact us when they fall right into our laps. It is even obvious when two people share similar experiences and respond in completely different ways. However there is nothing wrong with that because we all are different but at the end of the day our situations good or bad should never stop us from moving forward or stop living.
I remember reading the book, "Great Expectation" in high school with the woman Ms Havisham who was jilted at the altar and from that day on she remained in the wedding dress with the house and everything in the same manner it was on that day when her bridegroom didn't show up. Some would thing she was a wacko, just like I did but what happened was that never in her wildest dreams did she believe that this would happen to her and therefore she was not prepared for it. Now nobody should have to suffer this fate of not being able to move on because something happened unexpectedly. Unfortunately in life stuff happens that no one can explain, there are just no answers, so what do we do? How does one move on? There are no right and wrong answers because this is not cut and dry but we have the choice to either be like Ms Havisham or eat that wedding cake by ourselves or have a "waiting to exhale" party and cuss at every man ever created. The way we move on and we should move on is up to us. We may never be the same again because of the experience but we should "own" it but not let it own us.
One of Jesus' departing words to his disciple was that in this world we will have troubles but we should be courageous because He overcame the world. I used to ponder over those words as a new convert, as to what they actually meant, and how would I apply them to my life. So I had to personalize it and make it practical for my life's experiences. After all that is the intent of the teachings of Jesus if one chooses to be His follower, living with the same moral values as He did. Paraphrasing those cautionary words I take them to mean that, yes in life we are gonna have to deal with problems of different magnitude but all I need to remember is that Jesus lived in the world, faced problems, temptations etc but He didn't let them get the better of Him. So in spite of what life throws at us or as the commercial says, "when life comes at you fast," you are prepared for it even if you didn't expect it. With this in mind we can handle life's challenges.
Sisterly
I remember reading the book, "Great Expectation" in high school with the woman Ms Havisham who was jilted at the altar and from that day on she remained in the wedding dress with the house and everything in the same manner it was on that day when her bridegroom didn't show up. Some would thing she was a wacko, just like I did but what happened was that never in her wildest dreams did she believe that this would happen to her and therefore she was not prepared for it. Now nobody should have to suffer this fate of not being able to move on because something happened unexpectedly. Unfortunately in life stuff happens that no one can explain, there are just no answers, so what do we do? How does one move on? There are no right and wrong answers because this is not cut and dry but we have the choice to either be like Ms Havisham or eat that wedding cake by ourselves or have a "waiting to exhale" party and cuss at every man ever created. The way we move on and we should move on is up to us. We may never be the same again because of the experience but we should "own" it but not let it own us.
One of Jesus' departing words to his disciple was that in this world we will have troubles but we should be courageous because He overcame the world. I used to ponder over those words as a new convert, as to what they actually meant, and how would I apply them to my life. So I had to personalize it and make it practical for my life's experiences. After all that is the intent of the teachings of Jesus if one chooses to be His follower, living with the same moral values as He did. Paraphrasing those cautionary words I take them to mean that, yes in life we are gonna have to deal with problems of different magnitude but all I need to remember is that Jesus lived in the world, faced problems, temptations etc but He didn't let them get the better of Him. So in spite of what life throws at us or as the commercial says, "when life comes at you fast," you are prepared for it even if you didn't expect it. With this in mind we can handle life's challenges.
Sisterly
Monday, June 7, 2010
Just as I am
Mary J Blige has a song with the words that say, "take me as I am or nothing at all"; a great song, one of my all time favorites actually. She sings this song with her usual passion that makes her music so relate-able. She knows what she's singing about because she's lived it. The song talks about just being able to be who we are as individuals, with our flaws, our victories, our setbacks, the things that are likable about us or the things that make room for people to gossip about us. Through life's experiences she makes the discovery of who she is and in the final analysis says, "this is who I am." We are a summation of our life's highs and lows and she stresses the need for self acceptance. When we can acceptance ourselves for who we are and where we are it frees us up to become better people. We should never be comfortable living in the same space.
"When I was a child I spoke as a I child and I understood as a child but now that I am a woman/man I put away childish things." This suggests that there is a process of development that we must go through in order for us to go with the flow of life. If we don't see this process as a part of life then it is very easy to get stuck in one place. That's why it is easy for people to get suck in a certain era because they were comfortable there; or even stay stuck in a job forever and hate going there everyday. Yet they do it because it is comfortable. Accepting ourselves doesn't involve living in the comfort zone. It really is about stretching beyond everything that's comfortable, making ourselves vulnerable and really "grow up." It is so surprising when I interact with some people sometimes that I come away with the feeling, " is it me or........." Take me as I am is not a license to say, "I'm just gonna do me." It is after that period of self discovery that we should draw that conclusion. It says I have been through some things that have shaped me to be this person and this is who I am, love me or leave; I accept me. It is only fair after we've discovered who we are through the process to be able to say this, not before. Anything else is a facade or a farce that we are living under.
This is not about people trying to change people. It is a myth that people believe. We can't change people. Change is a choice. People approach relationships this way and when they don't work out it causes so much pain, hurt and disappointment. So therefore it is unrealistic to try to change people. I guess that's why Mahatma Gandhi says we need to be the change we want to see in others. Trying to change people only makes things comfortable for us and we really don't benefit in the long run. The effect we have on others especially when we want to make a difference in their lives is by "living on the real." "Iron sharpens iron, so does a man sharpen the countenance of his friend," is a famous Proverb that transcends time. This process of rubbing iron together causes friction, heat, discomfort but yet iron will shine after all of that. This is the biblical blueprint for relationships of acceptance. We have to relate to each other on each other's level. It is not about being obnoxious, unbearable or even abrasive because the process is a give and take, where we all come away with a sense of balance on both sides. It should not be a one sided affair but a space where we receive the same type of energy that we give out. It is amazing how we can't get around this law of life because what we put out will come back to us. If we're nasty to people, then that's what comes back. If we manipulate people that's what comes back. If we're nice to people that's what comes back. Even what we accepts come back to us.
However it is a good thing though that God doesn't relate to us on that level. His level of acceptance is way beyond imaginable. People feel that they have to get their act together for God to accept them but He accepts us for who we are. After all He made us all and He knows exactly where we are. That's why our relationship with Him should be personal and not based on somebody else's. Because He knows where you are in your process and other people may not so they may judge based on what they think they know. We don't have to have it all together. Actually the God-Man, Jesus said that He didn't come to call the righteous but people who have issues and are actually aware of them but yet not comfortable living with those issues. His acceptance is still a part of the process of "this is who I am, this is where I am and I can't be comfortable until I become what I am supposed to be." Jesus made life relate-able as Mary's song does. But it is kinda sad that church folks don't present a relate-able God to the "unchurched." Church folk try so hard to 'spiritualize' everything that they make everyday life and interaction seem undo-able and unachievable by the average man. Saint Paul terms it as "being so heavenly minded that they are no earthly good", still not a 'get out of jail free card' to live however we please but more or less a message that says if I can live this life in Christ, you can too. Why? Because I am no different from you I just made the choice to change direction to live on the side that won't steer me wrong. Not on the side of religiosity confounded in a whole bundle of does and don't or in anybody's so called doctrinal revelations cloaked in spirituality or self righteousness, that some people cannot even think for themselves. They 'parrot' what they hear and are afraid to judge for themselves. Not everyone that say Lord, Lord....... have the Lord's agenda. It is more about self promotion all in the name of Jesus.
It is really not what we say neither is it what we do; it is really how we live. Some people want to share Jesus with everyone they meet but yet they don't even care about the people's well being. We can't force Jesus on people when people can't even see the reason why they need Him and trumping hell and damnation to them is just going to turn people off, and that's really not a true representation of who Jesus is. What was so ironic about Jesus' message was that He did not trump "hell and damnation" to the world, it was directed to religious leaders. His message to His disciples to share with the world was love. Love fosters acceptance; acceptance of God for God is love, self then others. Acceptance is summed up in this , "loving God, loving ourselves, then loving others. But of course as humans we just do things backwards, we look for love in all the wrong places, haven't even come to love and accept ourselves for who we are but yet we want others to love us and when they don't, we are stagnated in this process of life, bitter. One thing Jesus did, He really cared about people and He accepted them for who they are. His life and teachings was more about that than anything else. Yes, He got into it with religious leaders because they didn't like that approach. They were more about appearing religious based on what they thought they knew about God.
Living in a place of acceptance is very disarming and takes away the power we give people over us. The thing is, when we accept ourselves and we know that God accepts us, then we can live in that space ripe for growth. What really got me to pay close attention to this Jesus many years ago, was some people I interacted with daily who had chosen to love and accept me unconditionally but didn't let me feel condemned because of how I was living my life. They chose to love and accept me and looking back now I know they were praying for me. They never preached to me or told me I needed Jesus because I honestly believe I would've been completely turned off. That was my hang up. They didn't even invite me to church, imagine that! I think they may have assumed I wouldn't have come and they were right, I probably wouldn't have gone. I visited their church on my own accord. So it is not about what we say or how good we preach, sometimes it is just not saying anything. It's about accepting ourselves and accepting people, just as they are in their humanity and letting God do the rest. Only He can change people, you and I don't have that power. No body can't come to God unless His Spirit draws them and if He can accept people for who we are then why can't we?
Agape
"When I was a child I spoke as a I child and I understood as a child but now that I am a woman/man I put away childish things." This suggests that there is a process of development that we must go through in order for us to go with the flow of life. If we don't see this process as a part of life then it is very easy to get stuck in one place. That's why it is easy for people to get suck in a certain era because they were comfortable there; or even stay stuck in a job forever and hate going there everyday. Yet they do it because it is comfortable. Accepting ourselves doesn't involve living in the comfort zone. It really is about stretching beyond everything that's comfortable, making ourselves vulnerable and really "grow up." It is so surprising when I interact with some people sometimes that I come away with the feeling, " is it me or........." Take me as I am is not a license to say, "I'm just gonna do me." It is after that period of self discovery that we should draw that conclusion. It says I have been through some things that have shaped me to be this person and this is who I am, love me or leave; I accept me. It is only fair after we've discovered who we are through the process to be able to say this, not before. Anything else is a facade or a farce that we are living under.
This is not about people trying to change people. It is a myth that people believe. We can't change people. Change is a choice. People approach relationships this way and when they don't work out it causes so much pain, hurt and disappointment. So therefore it is unrealistic to try to change people. I guess that's why Mahatma Gandhi says we need to be the change we want to see in others. Trying to change people only makes things comfortable for us and we really don't benefit in the long run. The effect we have on others especially when we want to make a difference in their lives is by "living on the real." "Iron sharpens iron, so does a man sharpen the countenance of his friend," is a famous Proverb that transcends time. This process of rubbing iron together causes friction, heat, discomfort but yet iron will shine after all of that. This is the biblical blueprint for relationships of acceptance. We have to relate to each other on each other's level. It is not about being obnoxious, unbearable or even abrasive because the process is a give and take, where we all come away with a sense of balance on both sides. It should not be a one sided affair but a space where we receive the same type of energy that we give out. It is amazing how we can't get around this law of life because what we put out will come back to us. If we're nasty to people, then that's what comes back. If we manipulate people that's what comes back. If we're nice to people that's what comes back. Even what we accepts come back to us.
However it is a good thing though that God doesn't relate to us on that level. His level of acceptance is way beyond imaginable. People feel that they have to get their act together for God to accept them but He accepts us for who we are. After all He made us all and He knows exactly where we are. That's why our relationship with Him should be personal and not based on somebody else's. Because He knows where you are in your process and other people may not so they may judge based on what they think they know. We don't have to have it all together. Actually the God-Man, Jesus said that He didn't come to call the righteous but people who have issues and are actually aware of them but yet not comfortable living with those issues. His acceptance is still a part of the process of "this is who I am, this is where I am and I can't be comfortable until I become what I am supposed to be." Jesus made life relate-able as Mary's song does. But it is kinda sad that church folks don't present a relate-able God to the "unchurched." Church folk try so hard to 'spiritualize' everything that they make everyday life and interaction seem undo-able and unachievable by the average man. Saint Paul terms it as "being so heavenly minded that they are no earthly good", still not a 'get out of jail free card' to live however we please but more or less a message that says if I can live this life in Christ, you can too. Why? Because I am no different from you I just made the choice to change direction to live on the side that won't steer me wrong. Not on the side of religiosity confounded in a whole bundle of does and don't or in anybody's so called doctrinal revelations cloaked in spirituality or self righteousness, that some people cannot even think for themselves. They 'parrot' what they hear and are afraid to judge for themselves. Not everyone that say Lord, Lord....... have the Lord's agenda. It is more about self promotion all in the name of Jesus.
It is really not what we say neither is it what we do; it is really how we live. Some people want to share Jesus with everyone they meet but yet they don't even care about the people's well being. We can't force Jesus on people when people can't even see the reason why they need Him and trumping hell and damnation to them is just going to turn people off, and that's really not a true representation of who Jesus is. What was so ironic about Jesus' message was that He did not trump "hell and damnation" to the world, it was directed to religious leaders. His message to His disciples to share with the world was love. Love fosters acceptance; acceptance of God for God is love, self then others. Acceptance is summed up in this , "loving God, loving ourselves, then loving others. But of course as humans we just do things backwards, we look for love in all the wrong places, haven't even come to love and accept ourselves for who we are but yet we want others to love us and when they don't, we are stagnated in this process of life, bitter. One thing Jesus did, He really cared about people and He accepted them for who they are. His life and teachings was more about that than anything else. Yes, He got into it with religious leaders because they didn't like that approach. They were more about appearing religious based on what they thought they knew about God.
Living in a place of acceptance is very disarming and takes away the power we give people over us. The thing is, when we accept ourselves and we know that God accepts us, then we can live in that space ripe for growth. What really got me to pay close attention to this Jesus many years ago, was some people I interacted with daily who had chosen to love and accept me unconditionally but didn't let me feel condemned because of how I was living my life. They chose to love and accept me and looking back now I know they were praying for me. They never preached to me or told me I needed Jesus because I honestly believe I would've been completely turned off. That was my hang up. They didn't even invite me to church, imagine that! I think they may have assumed I wouldn't have come and they were right, I probably wouldn't have gone. I visited their church on my own accord. So it is not about what we say or how good we preach, sometimes it is just not saying anything. It's about accepting ourselves and accepting people, just as they are in their humanity and letting God do the rest. Only He can change people, you and I don't have that power. No body can't come to God unless His Spirit draws them and if He can accept people for who we are then why can't we?
Agape
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