Just as I am

Mary J Blige has a song with the words that say, "take me as I am or nothing at all"; a great song, one of my all time favorites actually. She sings this song with her usual passion that makes her music so relate-able. She knows what she's singing about because she's lived it. The song talks about just being able to be who we are as individuals, with our flaws, our victories, our setbacks, the things that are likable about us or the things that make room for people to gossip about us. Through life's experiences she makes the discovery of who she is and in the final analysis says, "this is who I am." We are a summation of our life's highs and lows and she stresses the need for self acceptance. When we can acceptance ourselves for who we are and where we are it frees us up to become better people. We should never be comfortable living in the same space.

"When I was a child I spoke as a I child and I understood as a child but now that I am a woman/man I put away childish things." This suggests that there is a process of development that we must go through in order for us to go with the flow of life. If we don't see this process as a part of life then it is very easy to get stuck in one place. That's why it is easy for people to get suck in a certain era because they were comfortable there; or even stay stuck in a job forever and hate going there everyday. Yet they do it because it is comfortable. Accepting ourselves doesn't involve living in the comfort zone. It really is about stretching beyond everything that's comfortable, making ourselves vulnerable and really "grow up." It is so surprising when I interact with some people sometimes that I come away with the feeling, " is it me or........." Take me as I am is not a license to say, "I'm just gonna do me." It is after that period of self discovery that we should draw that conclusion. It says I have been through some things that have shaped me to be this person and this is who I am, love me or leave; I accept me. It is only fair after we've discovered who we are through the process to be able to say this, not before. Anything else is a facade or a farce that we are living under.

This is not about people trying to change people. It is a myth that people believe. We can't change people. Change is a choice. People approach relationships this way and when they don't work out it causes so much pain, hurt and disappointment. So therefore it is unrealistic to try to change people. I guess that's why Mahatma Gandhi says we need to be the change we want to see in others. Trying to change people only makes things comfortable for us and we really don't benefit in the long run. The effect we have on others especially when we want to make a difference in their lives is by "living on the real." "Iron sharpens iron, so does a man sharpen the countenance of his friend," is a famous Proverb that transcends time. This process of rubbing iron together causes friction, heat, discomfort but yet iron will shine after all of that. This is the biblical blueprint for relationships of acceptance. We have to relate to each other on each other's level. It is not about being obnoxious, unbearable or even abrasive because the process is a give and take, where we all come away with a sense of balance on both sides. It should not be a one sided affair but a space where we receive the same type of energy that we give out. It is amazing how we can't get around this law of life because what we put out will come back to us. If we're nasty to people, then that's what comes back. If we manipulate people that's what comes back. If we're nice to people that's what comes back. Even what we accepts come back to us.

However it is a good thing though that God doesn't relate to us on that level. His level of acceptance is way beyond imaginable. People feel that they have to get their act together for God to accept them but He accepts us for who we are. After all He made us all and He knows exactly where we are. That's why our relationship with Him should be personal and not based on somebody else's. Because He knows where you are in your process and other people may not so they may judge based on what they think they know. We don't have to have it all together. Actually the God-Man, Jesus said that He didn't come to call the righteous but people who have issues and are actually aware of them but yet not comfortable living with those issues. His acceptance is still a part of the process of "this is who I am, this is where I am and I can't be comfortable until I become what I am supposed to be." Jesus made life relate-able as Mary's song does. But it is kinda sad that church folks don't present a relate-able God to the "unchurched." Church folk try so hard to 'spiritualize' everything that they make everyday life and interaction seem undo-able and unachievable by the average man. Saint Paul terms it as "being so heavenly minded that they are no earthly good", still not a 'get out of jail free card' to live however we please but more or less a message that says if I can live this life in Christ, you can too. Why? Because I am no different from you I just made the choice to change direction to live on the side that won't steer me wrong. Not on the side of religiosity confounded in a whole bundle of does and don't or in anybody's so called doctrinal revelations cloaked in spirituality or self righteousness, that some people cannot even think for themselves. They 'parrot' what they hear and are afraid to judge for themselves. Not everyone that say Lord, Lord....... have the Lord's agenda. It is more about self promotion all in the name of Jesus.

It is really not what we say neither is it what we do; it is really how we live. Some people want to share Jesus with everyone they meet but yet they don't even care about the people's well being. We can't force Jesus on people when people can't even see the reason why they need Him and trumping hell and damnation to them is just going to turn people off, and that's really not a true representation of who Jesus is. What was so ironic about Jesus' message was that He did not trump "hell and damnation" to the world, it was directed to religious leaders. His message to His disciples to share with the world was love. Love fosters acceptance; acceptance of God for God is love, self then others. Acceptance is summed up in this , "loving God, loving ourselves, then loving others. But of course as humans we just do things backwards, we look for love in all the wrong places, haven't even come to love and accept ourselves for who we are but yet we want others to love us and when they don't, we are stagnated in this process of life, bitter. One thing Jesus did, He really cared about people and He accepted them for who they are. His life and teachings was more about that than anything else. Yes, He got into it with religious leaders because they didn't like that approach. They were more about appearing religious based on what they thought they knew about God.

Living in a place of acceptance is very disarming and takes away the power we give people over us. The thing is, when we accept ourselves and we know that God accepts us, then we can live in that space ripe for growth. What really got me to pay close attention to this Jesus many years ago, was some people I interacted with daily who had chosen to love and accept me unconditionally but didn't let me feel condemned because of how I was living my life. They chose to love and accept me and looking back now I know they were praying for me. They never preached to me or told me I needed Jesus because I honestly believe I would've been completely turned off. That was my hang up. They didn't even invite me to church, imagine that! I think they may have assumed I wouldn't have come and they were right, I probably wouldn't have gone. I visited their church on my own accord. So it is not about what we say or how good we preach, sometimes it is just not saying anything. It's about accepting ourselves and accepting people, just as they are in their humanity and letting God do the rest. Only He can change people, you and I don't have that power. No body can't come to God unless His Spirit draws them and if He can accept people for who we are then why can't we?
Agape